I’m being bullied. Not by trolls lurking on twitter, and everywhere else in the internet. In real life.
Every couple of days as I walk my dog, a group of 5 teenage boys appear. As I approach them, they begin shouting “Gay Dog” and “Bender”.
However, life has got even more Peep Show lately with the addition of “Gay Cock Dog.” That’s now the weapon of choice.
Now as yet, I haven’t reacted. I’ve taken the highest moral ground I could find and pitched my tent. I have supplies and matches and plenty of water, I think I’ll be safe up here for a while. Is there another solution? I think not.
On my last circle of the park, one of them has broken ranks to ask for my autograph. The belief amongst my tormentors is that I’m a famous author. Excellent twist. Did not see this coming. May sign autographs as yet unknown famous author.
Have just read an interview with Snoop Lion in the Guardian Magazine, who believes that the only solution is to “match hate with love.” He’s discovered this after studying the teachings of the Rastafari Movement. We will now attempt to love the tormentors to death. A 31 year old man and a Jackapoo, loving a group of young boys to death…to be continued.