So long big man…
I’m ready. I’ve been ready since i was 9 years old. Big man culture is dying, and i’m ready to carry the coffin right into the incinerator. It’s poisonous domination has lived among us for too long, and every single time I see someone go against it’s abrasive, brash grain, I celebrate. James Blake, i’m looking at you this week. Thanks.
Every time someone speaks up about their mental and emotional state, or not fitting in, or their imposter syndrome, or whatever else they’re using to beat themselves up with, we’re one step closer.
Life as a man is not sports cars, watches and shredding. It’s not sleeping with hundreds of women you met on Tinder, or talking about football, boxing and cricket. Not that there’s anything wrong with ANY of the above. And this certainly isn’t a dig at the material success we’re sold every day. I’ve had some of it, and I like it. Life as a man is YOUR experience. It’s how you choose to live your life, not what the world tells you.
Should I just pipe down with my Yorkie, and a bag of McCoys. Probably. It’s a lot easier to say nothing. To go under the radar. But stealth doesn’t work anymore. How you implant yourself in the minds of people is the important thing.
Am I less of a man because i’ve always had a fascination with flowers over football? Or candles over cricket? I think not. But it took me years to accept and understand that. To find out who I am. Not the pretend version of me I give to the world sometimes. We all have that side. But the only thing that really matters, the one thing that’s been the best part of my life, is finding out who I really am. And accepting that for all that it is. All that I am.
Sometimes that’s a struggle. I’d love to care about Liverpool not winning the Champions league. Or that really sick new watch people are posting about on Instagram. Why? Because I want to be a MAN. I want to talk about the stuff the big boys are chatting about. Believe me, in a commercial sense it would do me a lot more good. But I cant fake it. In fact, I won’t fake it anymore. It’s not worth it. The pretence is exhausting.
Like pretending you don’t have a problem. Or thinking “you got this!” when you clearly, DON’T got this. But you just listened to Tony Robbins on Youtube?! Being the Big Man is tiresome. And it’s literally killing us.
This, what I’m doing now, is the enemy of Big Man culture. I’m being honest. I guarantee the minute you try it, your life will change. Those secret struggles that you’re lugging around, those pains and hurts you just need to suck up, could all be gone, if you let someone else help you along the way. None of us have to do this by ourselves.